I got a Big Gulp for Christmas one year.
Dr. Pepper.
I was excited to get it. I thought it was awesome.
I don't know why I just thought about that. Maybe it's because I get a Big Gulp every day.
That and while thinking about it, I was reminded that my dad got up early that morning and drove to the 7-11 to get it.
It was fresh.
It was a nice Christmas present and I don't recall getting anything else that year.
I suppose I was 9 or 10 years old.
I don't know.
I do remember going to my grandmothers house (the one who always gave socks) and seeing my cousins with all their toys.
One even got electronic drums. Electronic drums!
I got a Big Gulp.
But my dad cared enough to get it for me.
Open Doors and Opportunity from a closed door Christmas present.
--
My first bike was a hand-me-down something - who knows.
My dad may have even found it on the side of the road.
It was a 'banana' bike and really, complete crap.
I almost remember seeing it before my dad got done fixing it up for me.
He took the entire bike apart down to the frame.
Taped up the frame in a candy cane pattern, and painted it the same color as his 1956 Chevy that was rusting in the garage - Candy apple red and silver.
By the time he was done the bike looked great.
Best of all I could ride.
To be 5 or 6 years old and have that kind of freedom.
Open Doors and Opportunity from a closed door bike.
--
My first car was a 1972 Buick Skylark 4 door.
Covered with rust and torn, cat piss stained seats, the thing was a beast with a 350 engine.
It was the car I grew up with.
I can still remember the day we drove by and saw it.
It belonged to someone else and was in their yard with a 'for sale' sign on it.
A used car.
Didn't matter. To us it was new.
Bye, bye Volkswagen Beetle, we're getting a real car.
That Buick had been everywhere with us, and now it was mine.
I took polka-dot sheets (the only one's I could find) and used them as seat covers.
I bought some spray paint at the hardware store and I spray painted the rusted areas.
The car just looked like crap - and was - but it was mine.
Open Doors and Opportunity from a closed door car.
--
Shoney's was the place to be if we had the money to "eat out".
I think the only reason my mom went to work at all is because she hated to cook and wanted to eat out all the time.
So we ate at Shoney's a lot.
God Bless my mom.
I remember her working two weeks for a couple hundred dollars and then going to the grocery store and spending her entire check on food - only to have us eat most of it within a couple days.
Amazing.
She worked at the High School cafeteria and as a waitress at a restaurant at night.
We liked to eat at the restaurant she worked at because they had good rolls, but we couldn't afford to eat there.
Shoney's it was.
Spaghetti.
It's the first place I heard my dad say, "being poor isn't a sin, it's just inconvenient."
Is it ever.
It's also the place where my dad once snapped at me for choosing a table that didn't have enough ketchup in the bottle.
Suppose he was having a bad day and there's no telling what was going on in his adult world that I knew nothing about.
"But dad, some is better than none" I said.
He immediately felt guilty and apologized.
Open Doors and Opportunity from a closed door bottle of ketchup at Shoney's.
--
I spent all my life growing up with worries about the electric bill, water bill, cable bill when we had cable, and "would we or would we not lose the house?" - those were seemingly a monthly concern.
Everything that could get shut off did at one point or another.
Multiple times.
And eventually the house would be foreclosed on also.
Poor money management.
Somewhat.
But really, at the end of the day, it was just we didn't have enough money.
My dad was laid off after 20 something years.
With his severance package he would buy an above ground pool. Build a new deck to it and create his own little utopia and vacation place.
His 'happy spot'.
Open Doors and Opportunity from a closed door layoff.
--
He thought he was going to go back to the factory at any moment.
Moments passed.
They would never call him back.
By the time he found out he was permanently downsized, it was almost too late.
The writing was on the wall.
It's been said, "You go broke slowly, then all it once."
True.
We all went broke for the last and final time as a family.
After that the world exploded and came to a fiery and bitter end.
We would soon disband and all go our separate ways. Each taking with him the scars of growing up positively poor.
That is to say, despite being poor, we remained positive.
- Positive that tomorrow would be better than today.
- Positive that the future held the Open Doors and Opportunity that the past failed to produce.
- Positive that good things were coming.
- There are no dead ends.
I escaped to Florida and have tried to remain here ever since - or at least, make it back when I left a few times.
As I write this I'm looking out the window at the traffic pass. I know I've made the same mistake as my father.
As much as I may try to break free and be my own man, I am my father's son and the bad habits he instilled in me are a lasting legacy that have haunted me always.
But he also instilled some positive things, most notably, to always try finding Open Doors and Opportunity from a closed door and no opportunity life.
Be grateful for what you have and the Good Lord has given you (give us this day our daily bread thing).
As he used to sing and maybe still does, "one day at a time, Sweet Jesus."
One day at a time.
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